chapstick...friend or foe

Recently, in an attempt to not lose myself to frumpiness and mom jeans, I bought a "tinted" chapstick. Well, then I started getting these really strange fat lips...it took me a little while to realize what the exact cause of fat lips was. So, I stopped using the tinted chapstick. Then, I bought some new chapstick, softlips, well two benadryls later and I still look like some sort of collagen treatment gone wrong. Oh, chapstick, why do you hate me?